Leadership Without Awareness – is it possible?
ByThe foundational part of any management or leadership development or training or learning is awareness. Can we possibly be effective leaders if we are not fully conscious of what is going on around us?
I have to work hard every day on not ONLY being aware of the little things going on around me, but also to take responsibility for taking action when the awareness is there. I often have realizations or awarenesses that are just a little too late. Staying conscious requires staying focused on it. It is not automatic for me. Can you relate?
Here is an example that happened just this morning. I was leaving Starbucks when I ran into my friends Stephen and Leslie and their friend from Los Angeles, who was in town to sing at the opening ceremonies of the Democratic National Convention just started here in Denver, Colorado. Now the DNC has absolutely nothing to do with this story, but putting in this posting might just attract some additional readers, so forgive me for that! 
It is a bright, sunny day here, so I was chatting with them with my sun glasses on. I was sharing some things that happened over the weekend that I felt they would relate to. As I was talking, I was vaguely aware that their friend removed her sunglasses. Then, I was also vaguely aware that Leslie had removed hers. I had the thought – how thoughtful of them to do that so I can see their eyes and better communicate. And Stephen had his sunglasses off from the very beginning.
Can you guess the rest of the story?
Yep, I had left them and was driving away in my car when I realized that I had not returned the courtesy of removing my own sunshades. I was actually proud of myself for noticing their thoughtful behavior and never made the connection of what I could do to contribute to the communication – as well as just plain courtesy! Geez!
Probably no real harm done here, but if we were in a work relationship and discussing important work stuff, that little lack of awareness on my part could have led to misunderstanding, miscommunication and incorrect action.
I invite you to put some energy and effort into staying more conscious of the little things going on around you, as I promise to do also. The good news for me is that having this awareness – even late – is likely to help me improve. Awareness is the key first step!
So, if you’re late in your awareness like me, don’t beat yourself up about it. In fact, acknowledge that you did have the awareness. Give yourself credit for it, and you’ll get better and better over time. Beat yourself up, and you’ll never improve!
To ever improving consciousness,
Ed Oakley Making Managers into Leaders Institute
7 Comments
August 27th, 2008 at 9:05 am
Ed, as I read your comment, I was thinking back to my introduction to an NLP (Nero Linguistic Programming) class I took many years ago. One of the first things we learned about was “matching”.
The idea is that whenever you are talking with someone, and your goal is to influence, you “match” their body language, gestures, etc. You must do this in a subtle way. As you succeed in matching, you can then begin to effect their attitudes, so the theory goes, by using “open” language versus the “closed” language they may be using when you initially begin the conversation.
There is obviously a lot more to NLP, however your story pulled up an important memory of that training, so I wanted to share the thought.
Jim
August 27th, 2008 at 9:06 am
Perfect message for me today, and thank you for the invitation to not beat myself up. I pride myself on awareness, but this entire week I have been pretty much just been into my own to do list and not aware of what is going on around me. Thank you.
August 27th, 2008 at 9:41 am
Hi Ed: I have been working on increasing my awareness for about 20 years. I’ve made progress but it is surprisingly difficult. I do agree that awareness or mindfulness is one of the most critical aspects of any personal or professional growth (or any learning whatsoever!) One resource that I have found useful is a book called “Mindfulness in Plain English” by Henepola Gunaratana. Don’t let his name scare you off; he’s very readable.
brian
August 27th, 2008 at 11:43 am
Thanks for the reminder to not beat ourselves up when we make mistakes. It doesn’t work when we try it on others, yet we too often try to motivate ourselves that way. “The (verbal) beatings will continue until morale improves!”
August 27th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
Ed, yes, thanks for the reminder. Self-awareness is a prerequisite for leadership. My field is pastoral theology. The goal for pastoral formation for many, if not most, seminaries is to make their students “self aware.” It is the only way they can put themselves “on the shelf” so they can attend to the needs of another. St. Gregory the Great reminds those in ministry that the great threat to ministry – as to most professions – is the opposite of self-awareness; which is self-deception. So, self-awareness has a positive affect but it also protects against a real danger – to ministers, to other professionals, and to leaders.
September 5th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
Hi Ed,Leadership without Awareness will not lead us to maximum potential that we have. Therefore, we have to think or full awareness that we do need leadership to bring out the best in people. So, we have to belief it first before doing others.
September 11th, 2008 at 10:22 am
Ed,
Thanks for sharing once again a very worthwhile tip on communication. We as as a society have a very limited time when we are actually facc to face with a person so being aware during that time is even more important then ever. Your story shows how even the littlest thing can influnence the communicaton process.
Giving the other person our full attention with good eye contact can make a difference with
the outcome.
However awareness is the first step and thanks for sharing this today.