This is great. But my question is what do you think would have happened if a younger brother or sister had taken lead? Would all of have followed or you would have brushed him/her off as an immature person with immature decisions? Otherwise it is nice for Jonette to allow us share her convincing experience which is not usually not easy.

Peter

Nice example of emotional regulation in a tough situation. Regulation of emotions is the goal of leadership in order to develop effective group decisions or even to be an effective leader. Dr. Steven Stosny a research psychologist helped me understand this. Dr. Stosny has a very insightful blog about emotions at http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement.

Thanks for sharing this powerful story. I totally agree that the “process” is the key to gaining group alignment with key decisions. Taking time to do this right creates group buy-in, and that is essential for the successful execution of important decisions.

Very good! Sometimes it is dfficult for us to detach ourselves emothionally from our own opinion and truly position ourselves in that nuetral field. I agree that without doing that, it is never truly a “group” decision. So important!

Thank you for a short story with many layers. WE do all process differently, but process we must.
In groups it is hard to give the folks who need the processing time their mulling space, while the ones who know what should be done are impatient to get on with it. The group can’t progress and do the work until all have processed, reacted and readied themselves for action.

What a great example of “leading form the back” instead of leading “from the front” which is what we as leaders may default to all too often in the prssure to get things done. Thank you for sharing such a personal story Jonette.

Wow! What a powerful insight. Allowing people the space to logically and emotionally make a group decision. Soft-Side Leadership.

Dear Jonette,

You willingly share your expertise ,by example, with one of the most difficult decisions one has in life. I commend you for your bravery.

Certainly as the process works in “life decisions” it will certainly work in the “work place” should one also give it the time to develop. So often we come into a meeting planning on getting a decision “right then”. Your points are well thought out. Thanks for sharing. AJ

WOW! That is profound. I am the one who is often impatient to “get on with it”. I see now that the solution truly is only part of the decision. The process IS very important too. Thank you!